Let's put the trust on Him.

Dear blog,

Do you believe in jodoh? yess. The one that we can't expect. The one that always be on everyone's dream. Just like me. Keep waiting for the best one. Let me tell you one thing. Long time ago, I met a person by an incident. yes. in school since me still a student. The weird feeling came. Day by day, time by time, me always stalked him. always walk through his class. Just to see his cute face. Although he doesn't know who am i. But me really happy. My friends teased me. "Hey, sends regards to him laa, if not he won't recognized you." me just smiled. I don't care if he doesn't know me. I'm not too popular to be recognized by others. Till one sunny day, his classmates suddenly talked to him. And said me sent regards to him. How me  embarrassed on that time. He smiled and replied back. Good started for us on that time. He's the chosen one to be mine.

But..... its all about my past. After three years we're together. He left me with pain. Hey, me still young to feel that pain :( he met with another person that he loved after went to university. The new ones. And me? Crying alone. Its too hurt for me. Everyday thinking of him makes me pain enough.   His smiles, his laugh, his speaks,  his teases, and all about him  makes my tears falling down. Every time me cried, my friends and brother will advised me, calmed me down. Ohh Allah, everyday i pray to You, to let him go. Don't remind me back. And alhamdulillah, finally me can accept that he is not mine any more. :')

You know what? That situation makes me stronger. Yes, cause Allah always be by my side. Now me same like you, further my studies in university. Even we're not in the same courses, but me just want you to know that i'm okay. No more cry, tears for you. Still remembered your last word. "Believe in Jodoh, if it's for us..don't worry, we'll be together soon.."

Almost two years you left me. And me got no feeling to you now. Happy with my friends. Always focused on study, on my family myself. I promised to myself. Not to be loved by others any more if you don't wanna be hurt.

Unfortunately, the feeling come back. Urghh. :( me feel bad. Too bad. Not with you. But with somebody else. Ohh Allah, why you give this feeling back? The same feeling. The weird feeling. :( I don't ask for it. It's just suddenly come. From the time we met... till now.. you give me hope. Hope that we will meant together. You keep accompany me, talk to me, smile, care, sulk and all such thing makes me feel that i'm special for you. Are you noticed me? Or me just flattering myself? :( hmm.

Is this love is real or just in my dream? i don't know. Sometimes me hates this feeling. But i won't leave it. I know, you're gonna leave me soon. I know I will feel the same pain as before. Cause I know who am i. I don't deserve to feel your love though. The words that I want you to know, I sincerely heart you. yess. me heart you. Dont know how to explain further. That is the only thing you should know.

My minds always think that, no matter how far you love someone, let him be. if he's yours.. he will come back. Jodoh, who knows. :') lets us put the trust on Allah. And now you're gone. Sulking maybe. Sorry me not good enough for you. Me heartless. Stay if you want. InsyaAllah you'll be mine. keep praying awak :')





me heart you,
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